Be A Better Person

And so another year has come. If you have already fallen shy of the goals and commitments that you set for yourself when the year began, don’t be discouraged. The process of exchanging good habits for destructive old habits is, unfortunately, laborious. The good news is that you don’t have to wait for another year, or decade to roll around to have a fresh start. Taking some time before you go to bed each night to honestly review your actions can literally allow you a fresh start each day. This process invites you to live more truthfully instead of sleep walking in the autopilot of old habits.

It's not a new idea. One of the most successful systems for change in this generation has been The 12-Step Program, where addicts of one kind or another initiate change one step at a time in order to free themselves of harmful habits. A crucial step on the path of recovery is taking Evening Inventory, which consists of asking yourself a few soul searching questions at the close of each day. The intent of this step is to unburden yourself of the things that ultimately will keep you stuck in old habits and behaviors.

When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken. (Big Book, page 86)

Evening inventory has one objective: spiritual and emotional wholeness. It is on developing, through honesty and integrity, a better person from the inside out.

These MP3s from mythoughtcoach.com can be a great jump-start to freeing yourself of any harmful habits in your life. And they're free all month. Just click on the links below:

Evening Inventory
Serenity Prayer

The Thick of Thin Things

It's so easy to get immersed in the "thick of thin things," spending time on the things which don't really matter much at all in the grand scheme of things, and neglecting the more important causes. Take regular and consistent time to be still, to step back and take a good look at how you are doing your life.

Five? Seriously??

Someone asked me the other day why I had five kids. Okay, actually it was one of my kids asking me. And here is what I realized: I had figured out how to handle four.

By default I am daily, sometimes hourly, invited to push myself to step up to the challenge. Mental and emotional survival has required me to become more organized, more patient, more balanced, more efficient, more humble. And really, these aren't bad things to be working on if my ultimate goal is to become a better person than I was yesterday.

Each time we exercise we apply this very same principle. We push our bodies beyond comfortable limits because we know that is the only way to get more fit than we were yesterday.

Don't resist when life offers you the ideal circumstances to grow and improve as a whole person. Most times it is the difficulties, life's "level 10s," that really stretch and mold us into the very people that when all is said and done, we most want to be!

Hey! Slow Down There!

Here's what Outside Magazine writes about the "Slow Speed Method," and why you might consider adding it to your workout gig.

Then watch this video to get REALLY excited! (2min. 50secs.)

Download File

Now, head to www.mythoughtcoach.com to download guided mp3s to get you started right away.

Get MORE fit this holiday season

You can leave this season MORE fit than you were when you started it. In order to succeed however, you will need to: change the way that you think about weight gain and the holidays, make proactive food choices, and workout for 10 minutes. Seriously. Just 10. Keep reading, my friend.

Fit and Lean Holiday Affirmations--This free mp3 will help you improve your inner dialogue about your body and potential holiday triggers. The first step towards success is changing your mindset and beliefs, and this mp3 is designed to help you do just that. It's full of affirmations to get you mentally where you want to be. Click here to get it now.

Eat Before You Eat--Ever notice what kind of food your body craves after you have skipped a meal or two? Making proactive food choices is the only way to truly stay free when it comes to holiday yum yum. Anytime you allow yourself to get: dehydrated, b) really hungry, c) really low blood sugar, or d) all of the above, you kiss your freedom goodbye. You become a slave to your basic needs when the tough food choices come around.

* Any clarity that you might have had, to make good food choices, is shot. You buy your freedom when you choose to down some water and chomp on string cheese before the big office party. Or enjoying a crunchy apple an hour before the lunch date. The good decisions you make before you are faced with the triple layer chocolate mousse naughtiness make all the difference. Click here to read more.

The 10 Minute Miracle Workout-A recent article in the New York Times presented some remarkable research for you and me.

* Study #1--A group of test rats were put to a swim test. The first group paddled in water for two sessions of three hours each (six hours total). The second group of rodents also swam, but in short 20 second furious bouts (lightly weighted), sandwiched between 10 second periods of complete rest to total four minutes swimming time. When the tests were over, each rat's muscle fibers were tested. As expected, the first group of rats (six hour group) showed the molecular changes that increase endurance. The second group? SAME MOLECULAR CHANGE.

* Study #2-involved healthy, non athlete college kids on stationary bikes. The first group peddled at a sustainable pace for about 100 minutes. The second group pushed through a series of short strenuous 20 second intervals, with 4 minute rest periods in between each interval. They worked at a high intensity for a total of three minutes. After two weeks of doing three workouts a week, both groups showed almost identical increases in their endurance. The first group had exercised a total of five hours per week, and the second a total of six minutes per week. The second group also showed weight loss, although they hadn't been studying for that effect.

Here is the caveat. Those intense interval minutes , if they are to be effective, will hurt a bit. They will be way out of your comfort zone. Having a coach to help you really push during these moments can make a huge difference. That is where the new workout "The 10 Minute Miracle" comes in. Find 10 minutes three days a week during the holidays. Seriously. You can find 10 minutes for ANYTHING, for heaven's sakes.

If you have been away for a while, hop back on for a few months and give the workout and some of the other great new content a go! Here is to a healthy, lean, and wonderful holiday!

Want something, but afraid to ask for it?

For many of us, desiring or wanting something can create some worry or stress, because often our wants are linked with the fear that we might not be able to actually GET our wants.

There is a way to bypass that stress however, and at the same time place yourself in the state of openness and connection that ensures that you will be smack dab at the right place and at the right time!

It begins by connecting to that innate sense of limitless plenty and abundance that is all around us, but often not in our immediate awareness. When you then blend that vision with a profound acceptance and gratitude for what you have right now in your life, you will experience a tremendous release of stress. On top of this, you will have a very strong sense that what you want to have in your life is very possible and available to you.

The "'Full Circle Manifesting" mp3 from mythoughtcoach.com will take you through this guided experience step by step. Before you start however, take a few minutes to identify one specific thing that you desire or want to have or experience in your life. Now put that desire into a statement-- a positive present tense "moving picture" sentence. For example, "I have a great job that I love, that I am good at, and that brings me x amount of money every month."

That's it! You are ready to get started. You will be able to use this technique as many times as you want, for a variety of desires and statements. Simply go through this preparation exercise first for each one!

Override Old Patterns and Habits

The process of becoming a good swimmer wasn't easy for me.

In preparing myself for the rigors of my first triathlon I had nothing to work with for the swim portion of the race but a very chaotic crawl stroke that I had taught myself. At age seven. Playing Marco Polo in my neighbor's pool.

To transform what I had been doing for years did NOT come naturally. Even after a conscious decision to swim better, every thing I was trying to master felt unnatural. Like alien commands traveling along my nervous system.

After much more time and effort than care to admit, the only way I was eventually able to improve my sloppy swim ways was to REFUSE TO SWIM THAT WAY. Not one stroke. Ever again.

Because the "swimming" file in my brain instinctively churned out the sloppy Marco Polo crawl every time I dove into a pool, I had to stop thinking of my workouts as "swimming." My workouts instead became merely trying out just one tiny piece of perfection. By breaking the big job down into bite size parts, I could then begin to practice doing just those parts perfectly.

One skill at a time, the deep grooves in my brain and muscle systems began to be slowly over-ridden by the new and improved methods. Occasionally I even had moments of being inside the body of a strong and efficient swimmer! It was remarkable to experience myself improving, and it strengthened my faith in the process of change.

Maybe you are swimming with destructive patterns or habits in your life. If so, start now, with just one bite sized area. Have it be small--something in your life that you will now practice doing differently FROM THIS MOMENT ON.

In the same way that I was able to slowly but steadily transform my swim stroke, you too can override old patterns, habits, or addictions in your life. Here's how: EVERY TIME YOU REFUSE TO KEEP DOING WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS DONE, the "grooves" in your brain are softening and gradually re-writing themselves! Each time you practice TURNING AWAY from a destructive habit, doing something different each time you "jump in that pool," you are making it easier to turn away again next time. And the time after that.

Although probably unnatural feeling now, over time that new and improved response will become like second nature!

Your life right now is full of opportunities to practice and eventually become everything that you most want to be. Click here to head to www.mythoughtcoach.com for extra help as you continue to practice tiny bite sized pieces of perfection! Here are a few titles that might help you get started:

• Affirmations for a More Stress Free Life
• Progressive Relaxation
• Easy Does It Power Nap
  

Buy Your Freedom

Ever noticed what kind of food your body craves after you have skipped a meal or two? Or gone all day without eating anything but a fistful of Oreos?

Anytime you allow yourself to get: a) dehydrated, b) really hungry, c) really low blood sugar, or d) all of the above, you kiss your freedom goodbye. You become a slave to your basic needs when the tough food choices come around. Any clarity that you might have had, to make good food choices, is shot.

Making proactive food choices is the only way to truly stay free. You buy your freedom when you choose to guzzle water and chomp on string cheese before the office pizza party. Or each time you bite into a crunchy apple a few hours before lunchtime (even if you aren't hungry quite yet). The good decisions that you make before you are faced with the coronary heart disease food choices make all the difference. They will buy you your freedom when you really need it. And freedom is everything.

So it is with so many other areas in our lives. We buy our freedom by obeying the laws of our land, by paying our taxes, by going to our annual check ups and by taking our blood pressure medicine.

We buy our freedom every time we make proactive choices in any area of our lives.

We can buy our freedom from emotional pain too, by choosing to let go of offenses and by forgiving ourselves and others quickly. We buy freedom when we replace harmful thoughts in our brains with better ones. We buy freedom and greatly increase the odds in our favor when we do life inside of a less stressed out brain and body.

Wanna feel better quick? In fairness, other options are available. Grab more Oreos and some caffeine and you'll feel perky in no time. Speed to the meeting you're late too, and you might make it. Stay offended- it feels sort of good, and they certainly deserve it.

However; not much freedom with: a headache, fatigue when the sugar and caffeine wear off, a ticket, more adrenaline than your body knows what to do with, an emergency hospital visit, or a damaged relationship that might have been easily resolved by just letting it go.

It's time to start making the better choices. . . before the crisis.

To add more Preventative Care in your own life, try listening to something great from www.mythoughtcoach.com.

How to Eat Just One!

In cultures where eating rituals are widespread, people experience few eating disorders.

Ours is a culture with few eating rituals and numerous disorders. Many families almost never eat together. Instead pre-prepared food can be found everywhere: the refrigerator, freezer, cupboards and the local drive-thru--each full of family member's favorites. Calories can be microwaved (often between TV shows), or gobbled down in the car.

It's the American dream, the American way: freedom, disconnection, food as product, food as fuel. You can even avoid any interaction with other people. The basic rule is to pay very little attention to food: take a bite of food, watch the sitcom, take another bite, flip to reality tv, and take another bite. All the while baffled as to why you feel so undernourished in the midst of food plenitude!

Begin building a new eating culture for yourself by attempting to Eat Just One Potato Chip. Advertisers say that you won't be able to do it but you can. Here is the secret: REALLY Taste That Chip.

In order to fully and completely taste what you put in your mouth you will need to peacefully focus on what is going on in each moment by moment, as it comes at you. It won't be easy, because often thought turns toward what you wish for or fear, and glosses over each actual experience while it is happening.

During the experiment, you can hone in your focus by eliminating the most obvious distractions: TV, radio, stereo, reading material, talking, shopping or driving. Concentration is to be applied to the potato chip and only to the potato chip (no dip allowed). You are also encouraged to be seated and not to have a drink in the other hand.

While grasping the chip of your choice, begin focusing your attention by noticing: how the chip feels in your hand, how the chip looks in your hand, the smell of the chip, the intention to place said object in your mouth, how the chip feels in your mouth, how the chip tastes (moment after moment!), how the chewing sounds, and, carefully now, the sensation of swallowing.

You'll need to work on your thoughts, as they tend to save themselves for things more important than chips. Tell yourself that eating this potato chip with mindfulness is vitally important right now. You are trying to make an impression in some way from this experience to your conscious mind.

Another technique: make pretend mental notes about what you are going to tell your grandchildren about this particular potato chip: "beige ... greasy between the fingers ... exquisite curve ... cute ruffles ... urge (like a fire flaming to life) to place in mouth ... feel with tongue ... powerful crunch..." and so forth. Find your own words.

Got your ingredients together? Seated? Focused? When you are ready, you may pick up and eat (better yet, savor) that one potato chip. Get everything you can out of that chip, because for you in this moment, it's the only chip in the entire universe.

Begin today. Start eating more mindfully instead of automatically. Not only will your waistline begin to shrink, but you will begin to become aware of the simple beauties and peaceful pleasures that exist for you moment by moment!

Success in your weight management and healthy eating goals will require that you pro-actively choose better ways of thinking about food and your body. The thoughts that you have minute by minute have created what you are experiencing RIGHT NOW! Pop your headphones on and try listening regularly to one or more of Stin's guided affirmations geared towards your health. When your inner world improves, your outer world will improve!


Give these titles from mythoughtcoach.com a whirl:
"Become a Healthy and Moderate Eater"
"Energizer--Pop yourself out of a Low Energy Slump!"
"I Love, Honor and Respect Myself"
"End Emotional Eating Meditation--Part 1 and 2"

Prayer is simple.

Like everything else, prayer is energy. People who pray regularly know its power. They know that it works-- not as mere wish fulfillment but as a means of connecting with a much deeper layer of meaning and causality in the Universe. The act of prayer recognizes the existence of a greater whole that surrounds us, influences us, and of which we are a part.

In his book Reinventing Medicine, Larry Dossey, MD, includes an example of a clergyman who set up an experiment to test the power of prayer. Father Sean O'Laoire, a Catholic priest and psychologist working in the San Francisco bay area, presented a paper at a Harvard University Conference in 1997 on distant healing. He studied the effects of prayer on 406 distressed people, half of whom received prayer and half of whom did not. O'Laoire found that those prayed for improved in all eleven of the criteria he used to measure self esteem, anxiety, and depression. However, he also discovered that the agents doing the prayer improved more than the subjects for whom they were praying for in ten of his eleven criteria.

The findings are intriguing. Findings like these resonate not only with the experiences of those who pray, but with discoveries in modern physics. Non-Locality Theory, firmly established in modern physics, suggests that no matter where one is in the world, what happens around him or her is affected immediately by events all over the universe. In other words, the whole universe in interconnected. No man is an island.

There are no right or wrong prayers. No rules about prayer. Authenticity is all. Prayer is simple.

Beware of the scribes, which love to go in long clothing,
and love salutations in the marketplaces,
And the chief seats in the synagogues, and the uppermost rooms at feasts:
Which devour widows' houses, and for a pretense make long prayers.

Mark 12:38-40

Spend some time each day in Prayer. Meditatively listen to one of the new Simple Prayer recordings in the "Personal Development" section of mythoughtcoach.com, to commune with a power much greater than you are.

Clean

We all have things in our lives that must be done every day. Things we may not necessarily ENJOY doing, but we still do them. We know that when we don't they bring problems to us later on. They can range from things as simple as brushing our teeth, putting in contact lenses, or taking out the trash.

Bringing and maintaining order in your living space, a big theme in the lives of many, requires regular attention and effort. The time spent performing such daily tasks can become an ideal opportunity for growth. First, since you do them daily, they serve as an ideal occasion for reminding yourself of your core commitments and values, or of your current goals. Perhaps even more importantly, the process of cleaning, of bringing order to the space you live in, is an ideal metaphor for the practice of living thoughtfully.

An ideal time to serve yourself with this reminder is during the time you are cleaning. Take that time to talk to yourself, to release any worries and preoccupations that are bogging you down, and to bring your thoughts back to your core values. For a model of this kind of self talk, try out "Housework and Cleaning Meditation." Of course, if your problem is that you find it hard to get started cleaning in the first place, "Think Like a Clean and Organized Person" just might get that broom in your hands!

To live thoughtfully, which is what "My Thought Coach" is all about, is not the end of a process but the process itself. To live thoughtfully is a form of practice, a daily exercise, of bringing your thoughts back in line with your highest values and your best potential. This is something you can no more achieve once and for all than you could expect to clean your house once and for all. Or wash the last dish. Or take the ultimate shower to end all showers. Things always get messy again.

So it is with our thoughts. There are so many things out there that tug at our attention, which can so easily dominate our thoughts and emotions. To get back in the driver's seat of your own mind requires a regular return to the center, a daily reminder of who you are.

You have the power to affect change to your physical body you also have the power to affect change to your physical SURROUNDINGS. All things physical allow us to master the things going on WITHIN us. You are indelibly connected to your environment, as the world is inside you as you are within it.

Edit Your Memory

Did you know that your brain puts a marker on each powerful experience that you have? These tagged memories can at times wreak havoc in your life, as triggers bring them to the surface. In extreme cases, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can occur.

Guided meditation and progressive relaxation can soften these markers. They train the brain to become skilled in the rare art of "being present," instead of re-living over and over the same experience.

Listening to the guided mp3s on mythoughtcoach.com will also prepare your brain to become an "observer" instead of a powerless victim to the strong emotional responses that are bonded to these past traumatic events.

Your life will change when memories from your past lose their grip on you. You become truly free.

The link below leads to a fascinating article in the NY Times about the research that is being done in the area of memory. Neuroscience has led to an experimental drug that could block certain memories.

Brain Power
Brain Researchers Open Door to Editing Memory
By BENEDICT CAREY
Published: April 6, 2009

I AM

The two most powerful words in the English language are the words "I AM." Whenever you use them, you decree into your world anything that comes after them, whether positive or negative. Their power of creation happens regardless of your conscious use of the words. They don't even need to be physically spoken; thinking or feeling the words "I AM" will also have an effect in your life.

Think about these two words for a moment. Within them is the proof that no one outside of you has any power over your life. Absolutely no one else can say the words "I AM" for you. Only you can say those words to define what you want to enter into your life.

Whenever you use "I" or a form of it, NEVER use a negative word or statement after it. When you become aware of the creative power of these words, you will notice throughout the day how many times you and your loved ones think or say negative things after them. After the words "I AM" come the habitual, unconscious phrases such as "not good enough,""not rich enough,""not pretty enought,""not healthy enough." Notice how people will affirm their misery, lack, and sickness with the use of these two creative words. Often they get what they ask for: more misery, more lack, more sickness, and more painful experiences in life.

It doesn't take any more effort to say positive things after the words "I AM" than it does to say negative things. Even if you don't believe what you say at first, fake it until you make it! I AM perfect health. I AM rich, filled with abundance and supply. I AM the success I wish to be. I AM perfect harmony and fearlessness.

Once you change the subtle habits of decreeing negative things by your thoughts and conversations, you will begin to see a positive change in your life.

Acting! Merely Acting!

Body language influences emotions.

In one well known experiment, actors were asked to portray anger and then were subjected to numerous physiological tests, including heart rate, blood pressure, core temperature, galvanic skin response, and hormone levels. Next, the actors were exposed to a situation that made them genuinely angry, and the same measurements were taken.

There were virtually no difference in the two profiles. Good acting produces precisely the same physiology that real emotions do.

Carry yourselves confidently and you will eventually start to feel confident, even in highly stressful situations. Consciously create the look on the outside that you want to feel on the inside.

You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is not a singular act but a habit.

-Aristotle

The Answer is Within

Instead of trying to change circumstances or people, examine instead the emotions you are experiencing. Instead of being angry at an individual or circumstance--or depressed, jealous, or frightened--be grateful that they have brought particular emotions to your attention. These emotions come from INSIDE of you, not from outside, and they should be seen as old friends.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
When if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture,
Still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice
meet them at the door laughting,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

--Rumi
from "The Essential Rumi," (New York: HarperCollins, 1995)

Each emotion is a message from your soul. Instead of rearranging external circumstances in order to make yourself feel more safe, valuable, and loved, consider looking inside yourself to find the roots of your insecurities and pull them out. Real security comes by looking inward to find the causes of insecurity and healing them. This is the path to real peace and power. Many of the guided meditations at My Thought Coach are designed to help you get there.