Q&A with Stin

I was recently interviewed by a woman's magazine. Here is the crux of the Q&A.

The whole gang (from left to right) Anders, Tatiana, me, Lucianna, Scott my amazing husband, and Mackenzie.

Tell me a little bit about yourself...interests, etc.

I grew up on a ranch in Central California in a big family. I am now continuing in the big family tradition with my fifth child on the way. I recently competed in a triathlon, am an avid reader, play guitar and sing. My greatest joy is found in my friendship with my husband and children. I love doing life with my family.

How important do you feel meditation and fitness are to young women today?

If there were a manual to success for doing life as a young woman in this century, it would without question include a daily practice of meditation and fitness. These small and consistent steps, done REGULARLY, offer the physical and spiritual strength needed to thrive and stay grounded. They are so simple, and require so little time, that we think that it must be more complicated than it is. It isn’t. Adding these two things will simply bring greater happiness and success to your life.

Things are tougher in many ways than they have ever been, but young women today are completely up to the task! In many ways the unique experiences in our individual lives are much like a classroom. We find ourselves constantly being tested and given opportunities to learn, as we prepare for each new stage to come.

How and when did you first start getting interested in metaphysics?

I was initially introduced to a holistic approach to healing in high school, when my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. With the grim diagnosis, my mom turned to eastern medicine and affirmations with miraculous results. She is still alive, and healthier than ever. It was then that I began to learn about the impact our thoughts and beliefs could actually have on our lives. I began to see that we had a CHOICE about what we thought about! This was a radical but very exciting shift for me.

Explain a little bit about what you mean when you talk about metaphysics and the mind?

In the 1970's, the Soviets and East Germans were the first to formally use structured mental rehearsal. At that time, they dominated in several Olympic sports. Today virtually all elite athletes use visualization extensively, as we now know that the brain cannot differentiate between real practice and practice that is vividly imagined.

Our brain is cybernetic in nature, which means that it is literally like a computer, waiting for a program to be installed. As it turns out, our own thoughts, repeated daily, are one of the primary ways that our "mental computer" is programmed on a sub-conscious level-- the level of beliefs, habits and automatic behavior. CHOOSING TO FOCUS ON NEW POSITIVE THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND IMAGES WILL LITERALLY CREATE NEW NEURAL PATTERNS IN YOUR BRAIN.

What inspires you?

My biggest inspiration comes from reading my old journals. When I look with some distance at the miracles and growth that have taken place throughout my life, I am able to see myself in a broader context. Every time I read I am given courage to keep progressing and dreaming.

How do you deal with situations that leave you feeling discouraged and wanting to give up?

I have a “three second rule” that I really try to follow, which means that if discouragement and despair creep in I am only allowed to let it stay for 3 seconds. After that amount of time, I know it will begin a physiological response in my body, and that a slew of additional despair is on its way. This method of prevention has saved me from otherwise impending discouragement on many occasions.

What are your goals with all of your endeavors? What would be the perfect result of all of the work you do?

The deepest desire of my soul is to utilize my talents in building up, empowering, encouraging and strengthening others.

How do you deal with stress?

Any time I allow myself to get into a funk, it is remarkable to me how effective a quick workout can be. There is always a lot of resistance to get started, but once I get moving the hardest part is over. When I am done I feel mentally and emotionally re-booted. Optimism returns, and I am provided with a window of opportunity to change direction with my thinking and actions. I am able to step out of the box and respond with fresh perspective to whatever is going on.

To me, the greatest benefit of exercise is the emotional well being that always accompanies it. We miss the boat when we view it as merely a way to become more thin. It is a doorway towards re-inventing ourselves! Moving our bodies literally re-boots our brains.

How do you deal with negativity in your life, be it from internal or external sources?

I have had many difficult things to overcome in my life. The most effective tool for me in getting through some tough times in my life has been, oddly, through gratitude. It is a strange concept, because instinctively we are grateful for the good things in our lives but dread and hate the difficult things. I read a book during one of the darkest times of my life that proposed expressing “gratitude in all things.” It takes a huge leap of faith to be grateful for situations that are nearly killing you, but I decided to try it because nothing else was working! Every time I would feel pain inside from the situation I was going through, I would express gratitude for it. Eventually I began to see my life with a completely different perspective. As I accepted and even began to embrace my trials, I began to find new solutions and build the strength that was required to move beyond them. Most of my most prized traits were born from very intense labor pains!

Were you ever faced with pressure from those around you to conform to a certain norm, or to follow a certain path in life? If so, how did you deal with that?

I spent the early years of my life as an absolute chameleon, shifting and changing to meet my perception of what others wanted me to be. This method of doing life eventually failed, most perfectly. I was left exhausted and without a clue of who I was. I spent a couple of precious years trying to figure it out, and it was WRITING in journals and taking time to be still every day that eventually anchored me much more firmly into who I am today, how I spend the hours of my day, and where I am headed in my life.

What is something that you absolutely cannot live without?

I used to play a game with myself and try to eliminate one thing that I thought I couldn’t live without for a full week. My first one was no music for a week, and I discovered that I could actually live without it. Then it was sugar. Tough, but do-able. Television--hard habit to break but still possible to live without and even GREAT to live without once you realize how much time you get into your life! I haven’t done that game for a while, but I have learned that I am not as afraid as I used to be of suffering. It is the quickest way to see how blessed you really are, and identify those things that are most dear to you.

What guidance would you give to a young person who is unsure of which direction she wants to take with their life?

Get messy! Make mistakes! The quickest way towards figuring out what you WANT often comes through contrast, by discovering (often first hand) what you DON”T want. Write a lot and get a clear idea of what you WOULD create for your life if you could. Writing engages both parts of the brain in the creative process, and is very powerful. Everything that I have ever written about as being a desire of my heart has come to pass. The first thirty years of my life were a great "information gathering" phase and paved the way for the wonderful life that surrounds me know.

What do you think are the biggest challenges women face today? Do you experience them? If so, how do you overcome them?

One of our biggest challenges and opportunities as women is to find a way to become “beyond sexy”—to embrace our feminine power and beauty yet not rely on it in any way for our strength or identity. Many aspects of popular culture objectify women, put them on unrealistic pedestals, and then turn their backs when they fall short from perfection. We can and need to re-define what sexiness means for us personally and socially, and this is the generation that is going to see that happen!

What advice do you give to anyone who feels like they just don’t know how things will work out? If this feeling ever sets in, how do you deal with it?

I have found that faith and fear really can’t exist at the same time and that I am given constant opportunities in my life to decide where I stand.

What brings you the most joy in life?

Being a woman, walking by faith, and being inside my own skin as a mother.